Psalm 77 - Christy Epp

“I sing because I’m happy. I sing because I’m free!

His eye is on the sparrow. So I know he watches me.”

 I see myself as a little girl in her Sunday hat, wedged between my mom and dad on the country church wooden pew. The special music of the morning is a duet of tenors who vibrato their way through these verses.  His eye is on the sparrow, so I know he watches me.

Throughout my life, I have remembered these words, these notes. They have often brought a sense of comfort to me. He SEES me! Every now and then, I will break into a dramatic rendition, heavy with warble, just to amuse my children. But, as time has gone on, as I have journeyed through different seasons of life, I’ve wondered about these words.

Of course, a sparrow thrives in the warmth of spring and summer. But what about those icy cold winter nights?

Across the dark prairies, frozen winds constantly blow.

The January cold is relentless, no matter how much the Sparrow huddles into itself.

It must seek shelter in any rafter, nook, or cranny it can find.

The sparrow must endure winter.

But, His eye is on the sparrow!

 When I have been in my own winter, trying to find shelter from the seemingly endless cold, I’ve wondered if this truly is a comfort. I’m struggling, hurting, cold….. but don’t worry, He SEES me! I want to cry out, “But is He DOING anything?”

I’m so thankful for the truth and rawness of the Psalms. God has allowed the deepest sorrows and questions to be sealed on the pages of scripture for the rest of us to see that our all-knowing, all-present, powerful, perfect, holy creator is not threatened when we cry out to him!

I cried out to God for help!

Will the Lord reject forever?

Has his unfailing love vanished forever?

Has God forgotten to be merciful?

(Psalm 77)

Oh, I recognize these words!

But we don’t get left here. The writer doesn’t throw up his hands in despair and give up! As the Psalms continue, I am given my own path through these difficult questions, disappointments, and seeming abandonments.

I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on your works and consider all your mighty deeds.

 Psalm 77: 11,12

I will remember how you saved me and gave my heart its first sense of peace. I will remind myself that you have protected and provided in so many miraculous ways. I will remember how you freed me from fear.  I will tell my heart that You have spoken powerfully through scripture, when it has seemed that a light went on and I could see more clearly. I will remember that after every winter, snow does start to melt in the sun. Sounds cliché, but we see it every year.  I will remind myself of all the ways you have been faithful and encouraged and carried and forgiven and healed….. and I will ask you to do this again! As I remember, the questions and trials don’t disappear, but my own faith is strengthened to believe that You have cared for me once. You will again!

His eye is on the sparrow, so I know he watches me…. And He WILL shine His light of grace onto my life AGAIN, as He has many times before!