Teach us to Number our Days - Jacki Balfour
Recently, our eleven year old son, Micah, started tearing up easily, once or twice a day. He is usually a mellow, easy-going kid, so when this happens we know it’s time to start gently digging. We also know we’re likely to come across something big and soft-hearted and beautiful. It’s one of my favourite parts of being his mom.
So on this particular week at bedtime, Rob and I both had a chance to connect with our son, and it quickly became clear what emotion he was feeling: GRIEF. Something about turning 11 had triggered a new awareness of the passing of time, and Micah was realizing that his childhood was more fleeting than he wanted it to be. “I know everyone says I’ll enjoy each season in a different way,” he said through tears, “but I’m not ready for this one to be over!”
Oh, Micah! Haven’t we all felt that way? That twinge when you realize that a season you love won’t last forever? Like a blink, like a Manitoba summer, it’s over before you can truly even grasp that it’s here.
After exploring these feelings for a while, I asked Micah if he’d like some tools to fight the anxiety that was accompanying this grief. He welcomed them. We flipped to Philippians 4:6&7 and read about the recipe for peace, when peace seems elusive:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be God. And the peace of God which surpasses understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
We talked about giving this concern to Jesus (help me savour my days!) and about fighting with the incredible tool of thanksgiving. It is very hard to feel anxious when one is searching for His glory in the little things! And then with a grin I said, “there’s one more thing you can do, if you’re brave enough.”
“What is it?” he asked.
“Skip your screen time.”
His eyes bulged a little, and then his crinkly-eyed smile returned as he realized the truth behind those words. No time of day disappears quicker than the time spent on a screen. It’s like a black hole that (usually) sucks away the Presence of Jesus, our awareness of others in the room, our ability to appreciate little mercies, and our fruitfulness! The gift of being present, and the gift of time evaporates when we are staring at a screen.
So, that night Micah skipped his allotted screen time with joy, while the other kids went on as normal. He played a board game with Rob, smelled the evening air, went for a walk with me, and laid on our swing.
He also went to bed at peace, smiling that beautiful, crinkly-eyed smile.
So, this is just a small story of a small boy on an ordinary day who did something that we all often forget to do: he numbered his days.
And he gained a heart of wisdom. And a smile on his face.
Teach us to number our days so that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12