Spiritual Starvation - Lisa Solnik
Have you ever come out of an especially dark season and been surprised by joy? Or been released from an extended period of fear and tension, to finally collapse into the warmth and rest of safety? Has a load ever been lifted, that left you feeling lighter and freer than you ever thought you could feel? Isn’t it wonderful when this happens?!
Or on the other end of the spectrum, however, have you gone without something for so long that you acclimatized to the gnawing pains of hunger within you?
Have you become accustomed to starvation?
I’m not very good at fasting. The longest I’ve ever been able to go without food is a couple of days. But it always amazes me, even with a short or partial fast, how I notice such an intense difference in my body as soon as I begin to eat normally again. With my first meal, I can literally feel my energy being renewed. Minute by minute, my alertness and strength return in fuller and fuller measure. It is as if I am a depleted gas tank, and fuel is being poured into me – from my head, to my stomach, and into my limbs, fingertips, and toes.
I remember one such experience after a fast last year. The first day that I again ate a full three meals, I felt almost euphoric. That afternoon, I went out skating with my boys in the crisp air for a good hour and a half. Then as I was in the kitchen making supper after returning home, I felt positively light, awake, and even...bouncy! I asked myself, “My goodness, why do I feel so good?” And then I remembered: I had eaten that day!
It was as if, even in that very short amount of time, I had forgotten what it felt like to be full.
This caused me to ask another question: Have I been staying spiritually full? Or have I forgotten what that feels like?
Am I walking around full of the Holy Spirit, or am I hungry? Depleted? Wasting away, and trying to fill the emptiness with all kinds of silly things that have no nutrition – no staying power? It’s easy to reach for a bag of chips, a chocolate bar, or my phone. Work; achievements; the accolades of people. A trip to the mall. Those things can distract me and feel good for a moment or two. But afterwards, I’ll still be hungry. And possibly, worse off than before.
Even as Christians, within the Church, we may become bored. Tired. Longing. Famished. And if so, are we aware of our state? Or have we become accustomed to spiritual starvation?
If I reflect on my years of following Jesus, there have been a few precious times when He has jolted me awake with a shock of His love. For example – an unexpected affirmation, deep in my spirit, that comes out of nowhere and leaves me amazed at His goodness. Or a precise and immediate snipping of some kind of tie that had kept me bound for years. Or an overflowing love for God and other people that I'm not capable of on my own.
But let me be honest: these moments are the exception, not the rule.
Although they leave me feeling full when they happen – sometimes, for days; the effect generally does wear off.
I get hungry.
That is when I need to return and let His Spirit fill me again. Like having three square meals a day: if I don't keep up the habit, I run out of steam.
More often than not, it takes effort. We all know that convenience foods usually aren’t as healthy as the ones for which we carefully select wholesome ingredients, and put the time in to prepare and cook ourselves. Healthy food is more work, and more time consuming. It requires planning. And it may not be as gratifying to eat, at first. Some tastes need to be acquired. Pressing into the Word and prayer can feel like that at times.
It’s not always a feast that we can live off of for days to come. (Maybe this is intentional, because God wants us to keep coming back to Him!) When the Israelites received fresh manna in the desert, God didn’t allow them to stash it away and keep it for the next day (Exodus 16). With only the exception of the Sabbath, they were to get up each morning, and gather again. Similarly, God provides our “daily bread” – regular, solid spiritual nutrition that keeps us grounded in Him and gives us the stamina to persevere from day to day.
“Jesus said to them, ‘I tell you the truth, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.’
‘Sir,’ they said, ‘from now on give us this bread.’
Then Jesus declared, ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.’” John 6:32-35 NIV
Awareness of spiritual hunger is a crucial first step. From there, we must set aside time, and make the necessary efforts to remain spiritually filled. As we get into the habit of filling our spiritual stomachs with what they need – the Word, meditation, conversing with God, worship, fellowship – we will reach for those things daily, without even a second thought.
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” Matthew 5:6 NIV
“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” Psalm 34:8 NIV
“The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.” Psalm 34:10 NIV
Dear Lord:
It saddens and surprises me that I could be starving spiritually, without even knowing it. Help us, as your Church, to learn what it means to be full. To not grow so accustomed to pangs of hunger that we fail to acknowledge they're even there, or attribute them to something else. We need you, Lord - like water, like food. Fill us anew and give us grace to face what you have for us today, and in the coming days.
Thank you, Jesus. We love you, Lord.
Amen.